Here’s what it’s like watching the first 45 minutes of Paul Blart: Mall Cop:
The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!He is so fat, they use his belt to measure the Earth’s equator.
Your ass is so fat, when you sat down, you were a foot taller.
Is that your stomach, or did you swallow a beach ball?
That guy is so fat, when he went to school, he sat next to everybody.
He’s so fat, when he jumps in the air, he gets stuck.
Dude’s so fat, when he walks, his ass claps.
That man is so fat, when he sits on a quarter, boogers shoot out of George Washington’s nose.
That asshole is so fat, when he went to the airport, he got arrested for ten pounds of crack.
He’s so fat, when his beeper went off, people thought he was backing up.