Opening August 7th, the Stephen Sommers-direct big screen adaptation stars Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Christopher Eccleston, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Byung Hun Lee, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Said Taghmaoui, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans and Dennis Quaid.
New G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Clip!
May 29th, 2009Street Fighter: The Legend of Chung-Li
March 1st, 2009Charlie Nash: His name’s Bison. I’ve tracked him through eleven major cities on four continents and never come close, not once. This guy walks through the raindrops. Anybody that’s against him is either dead, or on their way.
Rather than talk about this movie, don’t worry, its terrible and bears little resemblance of the game, actually managing to be worse than the Van Damme version, which was good campy fun, I think special notice should go out to Chris Klein.
Klein plays Charlie Nash, an interpol agent working to stop Bison. Klein somehow manages to take bad acting to a new level. He approaches levels that seem like a dare in terms of how bad he can be in a movie.
Its funny, because I was just watching him in Election the other day, where he is quite good and oh, how bad things must have gotten for him. Everything he does, his dialog deliver, his posture, his reactions are all hilariously terrible. Its simply amazing.
Oh, and again, this movie sucks.
An American Affair
February 23rd, 2009That’s too bad, because as cornball as it is, I like Crossing Over better than Haggis’s multiple-Oscar winner, which was both cornball and reductionist: A universe in which we’re all puppets at the mercy of our racism is finally as simpleminded as one in which we’re all beaming multiculti zombies in a rainbow coalition. Kramer at least creates old-fashioned conscience dramas where people have room to make choices, to breathe. Harrison Ford plays an immigration agent who commands raids on factories where scores of illegals drop their tools and make a run for it, only to be swept up in the net. A young Mexican woman (Alice Braga) cries out to him that she has a little son who’s being looked after by someone; she has to get money to that woman, she has to get her boy. Taunted by his colleagues for appearing namby-pamby, the agent shrugs it off—then spends the rest of the movie on a grim border-crossing mission to reunite the child and his mom. Contrived? Sure, but Ford’s tight, furrowed visage becomes increasingly poignant, and our memories of him as a larky, whiz-bang, can-do American movie hero makes the slowness of his character’s trek even more heartbreaking.
Mall Cop
February 23rd, 2009Here’s what it’s like watching the first 45 minutes of Paul Blart: Mall Cop:
The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!He is so fat, they use his belt to measure the Earth’s equator.
Your ass is so fat, when you sat down, you were a foot taller.
Is that your stomach, or did you swallow a beach ball?
That guy is so fat, when he went to school, he sat next to everybody.
He’s so fat, when he jumps in the air, he gets stuck.
Dude’s so fat, when he walks, his ass claps.
That man is so fat, when he sits on a quarter, boogers shoot out of George Washington’s nose.
That asshole is so fat, when he went to the airport, he got arrested for ten pounds of crack.
He’s so fat, when his beeper went off, people thought he was backing up.
Slum Dog Millionaire
February 23rd, 2009Whoever thought that a movie that begins with torture would turn out to be an anthem to friendship and joy? “Slumdog Millionaire,” one of the most talked-about films of 2008, has arrived on Quad-City screens. This “miracle” movie should draw in the curious who wonder what’s so great about this movie with an unusual title. A “slumdog” is, in this case, a person who lives in the ghetto of Mumbai. Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) has led anything but a charmed life well, maybe. He finds himself as a young adult in front of 90 million viewers who are watching him on the Indian television show, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” The show is the same as it is in the United States: The participants are asked a series of questions. Each of the correct answers is worth more than the answer that preceded it. Now, back to the scenes of torture, which make this a film for adults and justifiably earn it the “R” rating. Jamal finds himself beaten to within an inch of his life. Why? Because the authorities cannot believe that a “slumdog” would know so many of the answers. They figure he must be cheating somehow. The flashback, in which Jamal tries to explain how he knows the answers to each particular question, provides a biography of Jamal that extends clear back to his early life. That includes his somewhat shaky relationship with his often brutal brother Salim (Madhur Mittal) and a girl, Latiki (Freida Pinto) they befriend. They called themselves the “Three Musketeers” until a terrible incidence in their adolescence changes the paths of their lives. There isn’t a bad moment here. The acting is phenomenal watch the children, later portrayed by adults. They are so natural, so realistic in their reactions to their poverty and their sudden life changes. And the grownup leads are superb. If you’re a fan of Bollywood, you’ll recognize Anil Kapoor, who is a star in these movies. He’s captivating as the gameshow host who never stops letting Jamal know that he has the upper hand.
Hello world!
February 23rd, 2009Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!